The Chia Francise Gets Patriotic. Or Something.

The dawn of the holiday season marks the return of a multitude of familiar items in stores. Wreaths. Ribbons. Holiday cards. Snuggies. And Chia Pets.The Chia Pet franchise is a wonder. It's a statement to all would be entrepreneurs that, if your idea is creepy and in poor taste, you should run with it. I have absolutely no idea how or why Chia Pets are still in business but it seems that for holiday season 2010, Chia is back and more disturbing than ever.

How has this company stayed in business? Who are the people out there buying Chia crap? I want to meet them. I want to study them. Is the majority of their business based on people purchasing gag gifts, or do people actually *like* these things? The animal versions of the Chia pets are...meh. Nothing I would ever want or give to anyone else, but I suppose that there are worse things. But the Chia attempts at human likeness take the franchise to a new level of tackiness.

In what must have been a fascinating series of business meetings, in 2010 Chia corporation decided to tie their awful idea with the essecnce of America. I imagine that a new member to the Chia team said the following: Wouldn't it be amazing to feature the clay likenesses of human beings with four leaf clovers for hair? And give all of the people chias a patriotic theme? Oh my goodness, I've got it! Let's make the chias the most revered figures in American history and politics!"

Evidently all were on board, because over the weekend I spotted this.

Chia Obama. As in a clay and grass representation of our President. So horrified was I at the sight of this monstrosity that I put down my shopping basket and kneeled to take a picture of it in the middle of the drugstore.

Fast forward a few days and it gets worse. Or maybe a bit better? I don't know, it's all bad. It turns out that Chia Obama isn't a slight on the President. The Chia corporation thinks it is part of a tribute to American presidents and icons past and present.



That's right, ladies and gentlemen. Chia presidential heads. To not purchase one would be down right Un-American.


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