Oh Hell Naw: Rapelisberger to Appear in Next Batman Film

A post about the third and final installation of the most recent Batman franchise, "The Dark Knight Rises," on The Sports Muse, you ask? Yep.

Stay with me.

The Sports Muse is not a place where I typically reveal my non-sports related celebrity crushes. But exceptional times call for exceptional measures.

I don't crush on many actors, but two of my crushes are appearing in the next Batman film--Christian Bale and Matthew Modine. Yes, Matthew Modine. I've loved that man for over 20 years. Go watch "Memphis Belle" and then try to tell me that that man was not swoon inducing in his hayday.

Anyway. Pair the dual crushes with the fact that "Batman Begins" and "The Dark Knight" are among my favorite movies, and you'll understand my anticipation at hearing any and all news relating to the filming of the "The Dark Knight Rises."

Kind of like the Harry Potter thing, but with hot men who have actually hit puberty.

Imagine my chagrin when reviewing sports headlines today when I see what is tantamount to movie blasphemy. The horrid Ben Rapelisberger will have an appearance in the upcoming Batman movie.

Umm, Chris Nolan, can we have a word?

The Pittsburgh Post-Gazette reports, "Roethlisberger and about a dozen of his veteran teammates will take part in the filming of Dark Knight Rises playing -- what else? -- football players at a familiar venue for them, Heinz Field."

Behold as Big Ben brilliantly discusses his role in the production:

"I'm kind of getting everybody together. I heard it's going to be a neat thing at the stadium. I don't think it will be a big part, it's not like we're chasing Batman down or anything. It's something neat that in 10 years or 20 years we can tell our kids we were in a movie. Thomas does movies big and I'm sure it will be a big-time movie and something fun to be part of." 

A couple of things. One, God, please don't allow this man to reproduce. Second,"I'm sure it will be a big-time movie" What tipped you off, braniac?

I can't stand it. I doubt he will be present for the filming of the scene, but if Christian Bale ever sees fit to do a sequel to his awe-inspiring rant from the set of the "Terminator Salvation" a few years ago, now would be a good time. Sure, Rapelisberger is way bigger than Bale, but Christian seems a bit unhinged. I wouldn't mess with him, even if I were a ginormous football player.

And because you can never hear it too much...here is the infamous rant, in case you've forgotten about it. Or missed it. Or a combination of both.


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