This Outfit Makes Me Look Fat! Some NFL Players Not Loving Nike's Uniforms


Terrence Cody is not fat. He is big boned.

Lest you think that NFL players are too concerned with function to pay much attention to fashion on the field, I give you this: some are complaining about the NFL’s new Nike uniforms. Why? Because they think they make them look fat.

That’s right. The jerseys are the culprits.

At the conclusion of the 2011 season, it was out with Reebok and in with Nike as the new supplier for the league. While Nike didn’t go nearly as wild with their designs for the NFL as they do with their famed University of Oregon uniforms, the company stamped its brand on professional football with a sleek, fitted jersey designed to maximize performance.

However, if your belly is already displaying maximum effort you may not be in love with anything highlighting exactly how much stomach you have. This is the situation with Alex Boone, a 300-pound guard for the San Francisco 49ers. Speaking to the Wall Street Journal about the new jerseys, he said,

"I hate them. They are built for thin guys. It makes me look like I have big old love handles."
Aww, sweetie. It may be the big love handles making it appear that way.  (in fairness, Boone does seem to be in very good shape).

The player went on to reveal the trauma caused by the new shirts.

“Boone, who complains that his stomach hangs out the bottom of the jersey, said it makes him feel self-conscious. 'It makes me look fat,' he said, 'and I'm not fat.'

When Boone's wife first saw him in the new garb, he reports, 'she said, 'It looks like you ate a small baby.'"

Erm, Mrs. Boone? You’re not really helping matters.

At a svelte 300 pounds, we know that Boone is having issues. What about some of the even bigger men around the league?

"I don't really care for the new jerseys," said Baltimore Ravens defensive lineman Terrence Cody, who is 349 pounds and 6 feet 4. "I feel like they should put different material in for the big guys."

Remember when we were kids and clothes came in husky sizes? Maybe that’s an option with the Nike jerseys to give the big guys some more room.

Clothing is generally made with thin people in mind. It’s perplexing how this remains the case in a country with people the size of Americans but there you have it. Mr. Boone, Mr. Cody, I understand that no one likes to feel self-conscious. But it’s your job to be a big dude and you’re well compensated for it. Look at it this way: perhaps you've overachieved!

I’m glad we had this talk.

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